Thursday, February 26, 2009

Where Does The Human Go?

Dear Diary, Lately I've been wondering. Where does my human disappear to every day? She feeds me every morning and lets me out of our den to do my business. I'm thinking maybe she is out on a hunt. She must work really hard on the hunt, because many days she comes home with nothing. During those times, we must eat this pseudo meaty stuff that I guess she hunts for too. Those round pebbly things must be easier to catch, because we always have a supply of those. But I love it when she catches the chickens and turkeys! Sometimes she even rips out their hearts for us! I love my human. But I think if she took me along, we would have real meat more often.

Forever Loyal,

Trinity

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Kess pontificates on blindness

My name is Kess. I am 8 years old (not in dog years). I am mostly blind. I spend most of my days curled up in a closet with my daughter. I have a tendency to eat the other dogs’ food and get upset if they get too close to me while I’m doing it. I’ve been waiting to be adopted for three years.

This is how that last part goes. Daddy tells everyone how wonderful I am. He even tells them that I am almost blind so there won’t be any surprises. They want to know what else is wrong with me. Nothing! I’m a great dog! I mean other than being blind.

Some of these people even come out to see me. I wander around rubbing up against them, begging for a pat on the head Sometimes they do stupid things like throw the ball in a direction where I’m most likely to run into a tree. Then, when I run into the tree, after the stupid ball that they tossed, they realize that they wouldn’t like to take me home because most likely they would throw balls at trees.

Probably the most ironic adoption experience I’ve had to date dealt with another sight challenged being. This family came out to see me, right? Two little girls and a Mom and Dad. By the way, I love other females! Anyhow, this Dad, he was nearly blind too. I thought I was a shoe in. The dad didn’t want to go on long walks or need a big brute to protect him. He just needed some companionship. I can understand that, hanging out in the closet all day. I thought we would be kindred spirits.

The two little girls loved me too. They threw the ball for me, even though I almost mistook one of their hands for the ball. It was a close call. See what I mean? The Dad loved me and I nearly made his daughter a stumpy armed little girl! But the mom…. I did my best to woo her. I asked to be petted by looking up at her with my most puppy dog eyes. And all she saw was my blindness.

“Look at her eyes! Why are they that weird color?” she said in a dissatisfied tone.

I could tell she didn’t like me. She didn’t like me because my eyes are strange from the blindness. Maybe Daddy should put dark glasses on me like Ray Charles before he shows me to people. While he’s at it, throw in a white cane too! Maybe we could get one of those “dog for the blind” harnesses. Me and this guy could walk around the block, the blind leading the blind! It would be great! But she did not like me. She kept commenting on my eyes and on my coat. Nobody had brushed me in awhile and your coat kind of gets frumpy when your main activity is hiding out in the closet all day.

So, they said they’d talk it over and get back to us. I wonder. How does that man feel now? His wife didn’t want a blind dog. To her, I was useless; I was stupid for running into the tree. Does he ever wonder what she thinks about him?

What Trinity Does While Her Human is at Work

“It is in everyone’s best interest to work towards solutions that will avoid or mitigate potential wolf-livestock conflicts”.



This is a statement I heard while watching the news when the human was at work. “Potential wolf-livestock conflicts”. How does that work exactly? There is no “conflict” per se. The wolf is hungry. It’s not like he’s hanging around looking for a fight or plans to defend his territory. He just sees a steak or a lamb chop roaming around a mountain meadow and thinks to himself, “Dinner!”. It’s a cheap dinner. Cheaper than most. The “livestock” don’t give much of a fight in comparison to…say Brother Elk. But it’s not like the wolves are the Mafioso or something. They’re not coming to collect a debt.

And on the other side, do livestock really have a conflict with wolves? It’s not a mediation out there on the grassland. They aren’t going to sit down and talk about whether a leg would suffice in place of becoming the pack’s new breakfast buffet.

Don’t get me wrong. The wolf is my brother, from sometime way back when. But our needs conflict. Why don’t they just put a pack of me out there amongst the sheep and the cattle? I’m a herding maniac and a protector by nature. Those wolves wouldn’t stand a chance against a pack of German Shepherds. And we are well fed by our humans, so the sheep look like sheep and the cattle look like cattle, to us. If only humans realized that they could give up sitting at fancy tables talking about wolf-livestock conflicts that don’t really exist. If only, instead of reimbursing ranchers for livestock lost in this “wolf-livestock conflict”, the government funded a large herding dog pack like me and the rest of my kind. We could stand guard over these “innocents” and there would be a lot less payouts.


I’m going to mark this down as a potential career path and talk to my human about some job-training or trade school. I can see myself now in the trenches; protecting my sheep.

The Pack